It is my day off and it snowed. I'm totally bummed out. I left my phone charger at work last night. When I got home I realized it was missing. I had to drive over to kaylyn's to call work to make sure it was there and not laying in a parking lot. I feel like a have a ton of things to do today, really I am being lazy about the small things.
To do list:
Finish washing my sheets
Go to the gym
Drive to work sweaty and pick up phone charger
Cont. to try and be approved for a loan from the bank for a new car
Clean my room

Really this is what I have to worry about today and I just can't seem to get going. Oh and I applied to go back to school today. I'm going to take one of those trade school trainings to become a medical assistant. Doing hair just isn't cuttin it. I have been looking to buy a house and in order to be approved I need to be making like $200 a week more. So I'm off to school... again! Two very different professions but hey maybe the doctors will like stilettos?

Read after almost a year. and not reread.

I knocked on the door, half in the bag, tears running down my face and snow covering my shoulders. You met me in your pajamas and wearing eye glasses. I didn't even know you wore contacts. No words were exchanged you grabbed me and wrapped your arms so tightly around me I could barely breathe. I apologized 100 times over again as you laughed and said you knew it would be me. We went to the living room and smoked, your partner came from the other room looking confused and worried. We poured more drinks and unloaded. My friend and I joked the next morning that it looked like I punched myself in the eyeballs. As I stood in the bathroom that morning loading on eye liner I made a decision. Somethings are not worth your tears.


Less than 12 hours later I received the worst phone call of my life. I coasted on fumes until I hit your street and then I saw the flashing lights. Something you see in a movie that makes your heart skip a beat. I began screaming I pushed my way through the pigs until I saw your partner and my partner in crime. There he stood 20 years older than meand as white as his bathrobe that was draped around him. I grabbed him as though you did to me less than 12 hours prior. He fell into my arms.
And this is where I typically stop thinking, my mind goes into over drive. This is what keeps me up at night this is what allows me to stare off into the black space that I enjoy zoning into.
The sight I don't like to think of. the last memory I have of you. the first memory i have of a dead person. The noises of a zipper. the thuds then zip. The front door opened 3 hours later and you were out of our lives.