Read after almost a year. and not reread.

I knocked on the door, half in the bag, tears running down my face and snow covering my shoulders. You met me in your pajamas and wearing eye glasses. I didn't even know you wore contacts. No words were exchanged you grabbed me and wrapped your arms so tightly around me I could barely breathe. I apologized 100 times over again as you laughed and said you knew it would be me. We went to the living room and smoked, your partner came from the other room looking confused and worried. We poured more drinks and unloaded. My friend and I joked the next morning that it looked like I punched myself in the eyeballs. As I stood in the bathroom that morning loading on eye liner I made a decision. Somethings are not worth your tears.


Less than 12 hours later I received the worst phone call of my life. I coasted on fumes until I hit your street and then I saw the flashing lights. Something you see in a movie that makes your heart skip a beat. I began screaming I pushed my way through the pigs until I saw your partner and my partner in crime. There he stood 20 years older than meand as white as his bathrobe that was draped around him. I grabbed him as though you did to me less than 12 hours prior. He fell into my arms.
And this is where I typically stop thinking, my mind goes into over drive. This is what keeps me up at night this is what allows me to stare off into the black space that I enjoy zoning into.
The sight I don't like to think of. the last memory I have of you. the first memory i have of a dead person. The noises of a zipper. the thuds then zip. The front door opened 3 hours later and you were out of our lives.